When I dig down deep in the depth of my heart past all the baggage I have been carrying and the difficult road I have been traveling I am put in a position of awe of how my child points me straight to the person of Jesus. As I dug up my ipod today and resurrected it from the bottom of a basket I where I keep my books I realized once again that the music of the children of God awakens my heart. When I was in the hospital after I had given birth to Caden I had to walk down the hall to the nursery to feed him. When Caden was born he was grunting which means they were concerned about his lungs that he wasn’t breathing fully. (Probibly because I pushed him out of me in record time, I think 14 minutes of pushing was the official time.) So he had to spend the days we were in the hospital in the nursery being monitored by NICU nurses. Thankfully it never seemed to be anything serious but as a new mother I had to take evening jaunts to feed baby boy down in the nursery. One such night as I was feeding little baby bug, the Lord spoke to me. (I honestly hadn’t heard his voice in a very long time, and it was kind of a is that you Lord? kind of moment) I was feeding bugs and he was still learning how to eat from his mommy. He kept pulling away from me even though he was hungry. The Lord spoke to me and said to me,”you are doing the same thing I am trying to feed you (care for you) and you keep pushing away from me.” For months I have been wondering what that really meant. Other than I knew it was from the Lord I really didn’t exactly know what to glean from that little conversation the Lord and I had.
But today, as I was observing Caden checking out the world I found myself wondering what the world really looked like through his eyes. He has so much faith. He trusts me for everything. He crys because he knows mommy is going to come care for him. He’s so happy and smiles all the time. He has nothing to fear and nothing to be sad about. His world is a new enviornment that he explores with eagerness. Yet, I am entrusted with the ability to keep him away from the things that are harmful for him. As I contemplated the verses that are below I kept thinking about what it meant to come to Jesus as a child. Children are the ones who Jesus says will enter the kigdom of God. As my child trusts me to take care of every need, I as a child of God really needs to trust God with my every need. Children are innocent, untarnished. They haven’t experienced the hardships of the world or been able to be corrupted by the sin of the world. Not that I believe that children are sinless when they are born by they are the closet thing this side of heaven to true purity or at least innocence. How I need to remember all that in my daily life. Though we have been scared at times the Lord has never let us down. Not once, we have always been provided for. We have always had everything we needed and sometimes I just need to sit down, through my hands up and say Lord I just trust you!
“Truly I say to you, unless you are coverted and become like children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever recieves one such child in My name recieves Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who blieve in Me to stuble, it is better for him than a heavy millstone be hung around his neck, and that he be drowned in the depth of the sea.” Matthew 18: 3-6
“Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you whoever does not recieve the kigdom of God like a child shall not enter it at all. And He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hand upon them.” Mark 10:14-16
It really is a huge calling to raise a child. A huge calling to raise him up that points him toward God, doesn’t corrupt his nature. I have been entrusted with a little one and I never want to hinder him. I feel honored to take on such a calling in my life. I know I will make mistakes, that is what grace is for but I pray that the Lord will continue to flow in and through me so that I can fullfill this calling in a way that pleases the Lord.