My head is spinning a little bit

I just got a call from my dear husband again telling something just hasn’t gone as planned.  We were getting excited that July might be a little bit easier as far as finances go.  He is enjoying his new job, meeting lots of people, and being able to use his networking skills.  Turns out that we aren’t going to get the income that we thought we would next month and every time he calls discouraged and says that he’s starting to expect bad things to happen my heart gets sadder and sadder.  That is the last thing that you want to happen to your family is to expect things are going to go all wrong for you all the time.  We are waiting for things to improve, waiting for things to get better, and hoping that these things will happen very soon!  We have been praying and waiting for a very long time and friends we are so exhusted.  We are so tired we just don’t really know what to do sometimes.  It is true that the Lord has continued to provide all that we need.   Even just this month some dear friends offered to pay me to baby sit their little one for four weeks this summer and pay me $100 a week.  They also offered to pay us upfront because they knew it is something that we really needed. This was such a blessing and happened all at the right time so that we would have enough for June.  I get so hopefull and excited for our future and then to hear my husband discouraged just stabs me right in the heart.  He really does enjoy his job, he’s good at it, enjoys meeting people, but things just haven’t been easy to get going.  We have lots to be thankful about. We really do, it just would be nice to have a little break from all the things that are giving us a headache and for life just to be super easy for a little bit just to take a breather.  Of course life comes at you and things aren’t always going to be easy but even the stupid things get really hard when things are like this like just a couple of days ago I was cleaning a glass cutting board and dropped the dumb thing in the sink it like exploded and shattered everywhere and now the garbage disposal isn’t working.  We even suctioned it all out and tried to clean out one of the hoses and it still won’t work.  Ah, things like that are so frusterating when life is just hard.  It’s frusterating that we might have to call someone to fix it when money is just so tight.  So, with all that said, my head is spinning.  I am thinking and praying again for things to get better.  I can’t wait until the day that we can look back on all this and remember all that we learned from this time of difficulty.  I hope we are stronger people in life and in our faith because of it!  I hope that I am a better mother and wife because of it and I hope that I have more of a heart for others because of it.  I do believe that a day will come when things are better, and easier and we can take a break.


One response to “My head is spinning a little bit

  1. Hey Becky. I saw that you had this blog when you mentioned it on facebook. I don’t know if you’ve ever read it, but Elisabeth Elliot has a great book called Loneliness. Not that loneliness is what you’re struggling with, but it has a great chapter on giving everything as a gift to God, even when it seems like a struggle or a punishment. It’s hard to swallow, but beautiful if you can make it there.

    It’s so wonderful to think of using such hard times as offerings to the Lord; offering all we have, even if it feels insufficient. I do hope things start going more smoothly for you guys, though.

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