Life is not how I planned it. . .

Life has definately not been how I planned it.  I have been spending time doing a bible study in the book of Job as well as discipling a student I worked with last year and discussing Job with her as well.  I must admit that this last year I feel like my greatest fears have come to pass as far as what I thought might happen when we left staff with Campus Crusade.  It has been scarry and stressful.  I have been stuggling with how to encourage my husband and how to walk with God during this hard time.  Though we are still in the thick of it I am thankful for it.  Sure, there are many times that we have gone through this process and I wish life were much easier than it currently is.  I would love a vacation right now.  Far far away from all our troubles.  But I know that God is using this to shape me into a woman who is more in love with Him and much more capable to teach her kiddos of God’s character.

It’s been almost a year since we’ve been off staff.  I can’t believe it.  This season seems like it has gone on forever.  Yet we are still taken care of.  We’ve still been able to pay all our bills.  My husband has a job even though it is taking much longer than we expected to get going.  We have a beautiful baby boy that is one of the happiest guys on earth I think.  He’s always smiling and always happy.  Even when he crys he smiles through his tears.  I absolutely LOVE being a mommy.  We have so much to be thankful for!

So life is not how I planned it.  If I had planned it we would be safe and secure.  We would have plenty of money in the bank and new cars in the garage.  We would be living in Tennessee, and I would have money to decorate my house, we would take yearly family vacations and even family mission trips.  If life was how I’d planned it I’d be supporting 10 compassion children in different contries.  We wouldn’t have to take trips to see our families because we’d live near them.  My parents would have a great marriage and not be getting a divorce.  We would drop off our little guy to see his Nana and Papa and he would enjoy spending time with them together.  If life was how I planned it though. I wouldn’t be the woman that I am today.  I probibly wouldn’t be where I am or be challenged how I’ve been or love like I do. I’m thankful that because life hasn’t been how I planned it that I am the woman that I am and I hope that I can continue to be a blessing to others as well.


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